My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
