can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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