She's JV to your varsity
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
