idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
