Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
