Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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