You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
