Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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