kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize