You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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