we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?