It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?