Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (745) Bad night (3392)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time

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  (832): why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time http://tfl.nu/brrk
  Replies (27) Good night (5075) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.

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  (785): Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here. http://tfl.nu/9zh4
  Replies (26) Good night (3769) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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  (323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh
  Replies (120) Good night (1798) Bad night (46073)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.

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  (248): Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace. http://tfl.nu/fcle
  Replies (20) Good night (10832) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

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  (704): He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him. http://tfl.nu/wgyi
  Replies (25) Good night (6876) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all

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  (814): Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all http://tfl.nu/xfbz
  Replies (12) Good night (2987) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Jake bring pizza.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  JAKE BRING PIZZA.

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  (775): Jake bring pizza. (775): JAKE BRING PIZZA. http://tfl.nu/e6ij
  Replies (6) Good night (1964) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.

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  (732): Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left. http://tfl.nu/846c
  Replies (3) Good night (1559) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (785) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck

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  (512): totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck http://tfl.nu/52hz
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.

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  (864): I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish. http://tfl.nu/j2sb
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.

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  (313): How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going. http://tfl.nu/iqss
  Replies (1) Good night (178) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.

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  (310): Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/bhek
  Replies (4) Good night (357) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something

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  (561): I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something http://tfl.nu/tqzk
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (150)

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