ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?