Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.

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  (248): I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her. http://tfl.nu/7nk8
  Replies (17) Good night (680) Bad night (3489)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...

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  (203): she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school... http://tfl.nu/3kmg
  Replies (28) Good night (719) Bad night (5210)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
  Replies (42) Good night (1055) Bad night (6464)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You know how I know you're gay?

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  (218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments (320): You know how I know you're gay? http://tfl.nu/13va
  Replies (36) Good night (6887) Bad night (1087)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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  (440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av
  Replies (12) Good night (4397) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila

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  (863): I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila http://tfl.nu/e6je
  Replies (20) Good night (1008) Bad night (5790)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

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  (615): You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible. http://tfl.nu/1rrn
  Replies (16) Good night (3473) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

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  (410): I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming. http://tfl.nu/sdt5
  Replies (4) Good night (2279) Bad night (842)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made

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  (714): Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made http://tfl.nu/j4f1
  Replies (7) Good night (1771) Bad night (521)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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  (703): Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex http://tfl.nu/1fn0
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (882)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.

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  (208): My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead. http://tfl.nu/asjm
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (703)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She's been drunk for three days now

  (914): View more from New York

  Like three straight days. 72 hours

  (914): View more from New York

  She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey

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  (914): She's been drunk for three days now (914): Like three straight days. 72 hours (914): She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey http://tfl.nu/7xto
  Replies (5) Good night (982) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad

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  (505): I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy (1-505): No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad http://tfl.nu/sh07
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer

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  (770): but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer http://tfl.nu/kkfh
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (307)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09

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  (306): almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09 http://tfl.nu/v4ok
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (317)

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