we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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