Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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