She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm both gender and math confused
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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