just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
