I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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