so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
