mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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