just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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