I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
