Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
