you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
