dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
