It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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