What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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