Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
