So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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