Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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