a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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