I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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