I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
