my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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