foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
