I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
