I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
