I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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