how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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