I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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