He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
