im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
