Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
