what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
