ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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