My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
