For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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