Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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