He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize