It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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