next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
