he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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