i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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