i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
