Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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