you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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