another moral hangover. fuck.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
