You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
