One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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