How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
