I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
jump out the window naked night went bad
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