so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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