I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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