okay pat passed out under dana's car
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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