sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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